


The End

by Takujaepls



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cutting, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Depression, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Other, Rape Aftermath, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 09:31:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5823427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takujaepls/pseuds/Takujaepls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun is broken. Chanyeol tries to fix him but sometimes things shatter so deeply they can't be put back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The End

Baekhyun was tired. He was  _so_ tired.

He didn't wanna pretend to be happy anymore. He was sick of pretending and laughing and acting like everything was okay.

Nothing was okay. It wasn't okay and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't make it okay. 

He'd tried, though. Really. 

He'd just always been unhappy.

His life was a sordid concoction of alcohol and drugs, nameless hook-ups in stairwells of clubs or empty rooms at parties. He slept with anyone to try to help relieve the ache inside him. 

That's how he'd met Chanyeol. 

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun had been so drunk he could barely stand. Chanyeol was leaning against the wall, looking uncomfortable in the crowd, clutching a red paper cup to his chest. Baekhyun hadn't originally been interested in him. He was a bit tall and gangly for his tastes, ears too big for his head. It was only when he watched him blush and reject everyone (and there had been a lot of people) hit on him that he considered it. Baekhyun liked a challenge.

He decided to sleep with him. He sauntered (more like staggered) up to him, hand on the wall next to Chanyeol's head. Chanyeol had retreated back into the wall, eyes wide as he started chatting him up. 

He'd turned down Baekhyun's advances as well, politely thanking him but saying he wasn't interested. Baekhyun had persisted, getting annoyed when Chanyeol's answer didn't change. He'd left in a huff, downing more shots to forget the rejection.

Instead, he'd started chatting up someone who was exactly his type. Muscular, tanned and gorgeous. He'd fallen easily into Baekhyun's lap, grinning and hanging off of him. They'd gone upstairs, Baekhyun hoping to forget, not just the stranger who'd denied him, but everything.

In a sense he'd gotten his wish.

He hadn't thought twice when the guy brought him a new drink. He accepted it and they went to find an empty bedroom. It wasn't until they were in it that Baekhyun felt his head go fuzzy. The room spun and he stumbled, grabbing onto the dresser to steady him. The guy had just grinned at him, helping him over to the bed before everything went dark.

Whatever had been in his drink did the trick. 

He'd woken later on the bed in nothing but his shirt and socks, body sore. He felt something sticky between his legs and touched it, bringing his fingers back to see a dark, sticky liquid. 

He remembered throwing up, barely turning over in time to avoid getting it on himself. His ass had stung with every movement and he blinked back tears. 

He fumbled for his clothes, finding them at the foot of the bed in a pile. He fought the urge to throw up again and hastily pulled them on before stumbling out of the room.

The party was still going around him, oblivious to what had just happened. He limped his way through to the door, squeezing through the masses of people. Every touch against his body felt like too much.  

He ran outside and jumped down the porch steps, stumbling and falling to the ground. He scrambled to get up when he felt hands on his arms. 

He'd freaked out, screaming and pushing whoever it was away. The arms left him and then Chanyeol was bending down, arms held up to show he wasn't a threat. 

Baekhyun backed away, feet slipping on the wet grass as he tried to stand. Chanyeol stood with him, asking if he was okay.

He'd shook his head no, stating he wasn't okay as tears fell. Chanyeol stepped towards him but stopped when Baekhyun flinched away. His eyes widened as understanding hit him. He'd calmly spoke to Baekhyun, asking if there was someone he could call or if he could help. 

He'd refused to let Baekhyun walk home alone. He'd walked with him, eyeing him with worry as he limped down the road. He stayed a couple feet away, giving Baekhyun the space he needed. Baekhyun flinched everytime he got too close, widening the distance between them.

Chanyeol had walked him straight to the door of his apartment building, writing his number down on a slip of paper for Baekhyun. He'd told him to call if he needed anything or wanted to talk before he left. 

Baekhyun had thrown the paper out as soon as he got home. 

He'd crawled into the shower, letting the hot water wash away the events of the night.

Whatever strength Baekhyun had broke.

 

* * *

 

 

He didn't go to classes anymore. He didn't text or call his friends back. He ignored them pounding at the door, asking if he was home.

He sat on the couch or in his bed, knees pulled to his chest as he stared blankly at the wall. He couldn't cry. He couldn't get mad. He couldn't feel anything.

It continued like this for three days. He didn't eat, change his clothes or even shower. He slept on and off randomly, whenever he passed out.

His phone kept ringing, the only sound in the quiet apartment. Eventually that too stopped. He didn't bother getting up to charge it. He was glad to finally have the peace and quiet he craved.

 

* * *

 

There was knocking at the door again.

Baekhyun ignored it.

More knocking, this time accompanied by a voice.

"Uh, hey. It's Chanyeol from the party. Are you there?"

Baekhyun ignored him.

"You never called me. I got worried."

Baekhyun ignored him.

"Are you there? Please, just say something if you are."

Baekhyun ignored him.

It was quiet so long he thought Chanyeol had left.

"You're not alone, you know. You think you are but you're not. I'm gonna wait outside until you open this door."

A thump and sliding noise. Silence.

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun had fallen asleep. He awoke to a gentle tapping noise. He lifted his head, straining with the effort. The noise seemed to be coming from the front door.

"Yah, I'm still here. I really have to use the bathroom, you know. You could let me in so I could use yours."

Baekhyun blinked and went back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

True to his word Chanyeol didn't leave. It had been almost 12 hours since he'd first come by judging by the light peeking through the living room curtains. 

Baekhyun heard the soft tapping on the door again, loud in the empty apartment. It was getting on his nerves. 

Slowly he got up. He had to grip the couch to keep from falling over. 

Walking to the door took more energy than he had left. He fell to his knees, a shout coming from the door. He crawled weakly, grabbing the door handle to pull himself up.

Chanyeol was pounding on the door, calling out to him. He fumbled with the door lock, finally sliding it over. He opened the door, swaying as he pulled it back. He had a moment to register the shock on his face before he fell forward, into Chanyeol's arms while the boy cursed.

He wrapped his arms under Baekhyun, pulling him into his arms as he kicked the door open further. Baekhyun's head lolled against his shoulder as he moved through the apartment. 

He felt Chanyeol bend and then he was being lay down on the couch. It was too much like that night and Baekhyun shrunk back, drawing away from him and further into the couch.

"Please," he whimpered, burrowing back into the couch. "Don't, please." Something wet rolled down his cheek and he closed his eyes, trying to blink away the tears.

"Shit," Chanyeol cursed. "I'm not going to do anything, okay? I promise. Look, I need to call the hospital. You need to see a doctor." Baekhyun paled, shaking his head vigorously.

"No, no doctor! Don't, please." Baekhyun started sobbing and Chanyeol cursed again, hand coming up to his neck as he rubbed it.

"Okay, okay, no doctor. What can I do then?"

Baekhyun shook his head, tears falling as he sniffled. Chanyeol sighed, tugging his lip between his teeth.

"Is it okay if I stay with you for a bit?" Baekhyun didn't have the strength to speak so he just nodded. Chanyeol went back to the hallway and he heard the sound of the front door closing before he returned. 

"Have you eaten?"

He shook his head, eyes closed as exhaustion began weighing on him.

"When was the last time you ate?" 

"That day," Baekhyun whispered. He hadn't been able to stomach the thought of food. 

"What? That was  _four_ days ago! You need to eat."

"Can't."

Chanyeol grunted in frustration before moving to the kitchen, raiding his cabinets and fridge. He couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. He felt so tired.

 

* * *

 

 

He must have fallen asleep because next thing he knew Chanyeol was calling his name, standing next to the couch. Baekhyun's eyes widened and he flinched, retreating further back into the cushions.

"Sorry," Chanyeol said as he backed away. "It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you.  I made some food. You need to eat." He pointed to the coffee table where a plate of toast and eggs sat. 

He sat down on the floor, watching Baekhyun from the other side of the coffee table. He reached out slowly, grabbing a piece of toast and nibbling on it.

Baekhyun watched him apprehensively. He was being too nice.  

"What do you want?" His voice sounded rough, not like his usual self. Chanyeol shrugged, smiling warmly. 

"I want you to be okay."

 

* * *

 

 

It took Baekhyun a little while to warm to Chanyeol but the latter seemed determined to take care of Baekhyun.

He made him food and kept his distance. He didn't push conversation. He just sat in silence, making sure Baekhyun had what he needed.

He came by everyday. Slowly Baekhyun's physical strength returned. Chanyeol made sure he ate and even drew baths for him. He'd sit outside, waiting by the door as he asked Baekhyun questions to make sure he didn't fall asleep in the tub. It had happened the first time he had taken a bath after Chanyeol got there and he hadn't seemed to have let it go. 

The only reason Baekhyun let him in was because he knew Chanyeol wasn't a threat. He never got too close or left Baekhyun to feel trapped. He made sure Baekhyun's phone was always near by for his peace of mind.

 

* * *

 

 

Baekhyun didn't have the heart to tell Chanyeol it didn't help. Despite how kind Chanyeol was it didn't erase the pain. He still felt afraid to fall asleep. He still felt sore, whether it was physical or psychological.

Baekhyun had been sad all his life. He'd always been on the edge of falling. It had only taken one good push. 

That's how he found himself locked in his bathroom, sitting against the tub and staring down at a razorblade.

He used to cut himself in high school. Not to try to kill himself. Just to manage the pain. 

He'd always cut across the wrist, being careful to not cut too deep and sever any arteries. He'd just wanted the physical pain to focus on.

He eyed his old scars, faded and barely noticeable. 

He'd liked seeing the lines of crimson bubble up on his skin. The perfect symmetry of it. It had calmed him, clearing his mind of everything but those lines.

He didn't want symmetry this time.

He held the blade above his skin, taking a deep breath.

His hand trembled as he pulled it across his skin, gasping at the pain. He grit his teeth and pushed harder. The pain was intense, causing his hand to jerk against his wrist.

Before he could lose his nerve he passed the blade to the other hand, ignoring the blood dripping down across his skin. It was harder with his already slit wrist but he continued. 

The blood welled up through the skin, pooling over the sides to fall on the tiled floor beneath him.

He dropped the blade with a shaking hand, laying his wrists at his sides. He watched as the blood seeped out of him, covering his wrists in a complex pattern of lines from the cut down his forearm. They didn't look as pretty as the symmetrical lines but they would do.

He remembered learning that if you wanted to kill yourself you had to cut down the wrist, not across. He was pretty sure he'd done it right judging by the amount of blood flowing out of him.

That was it. No more struggling to be normal. No more faking his way through life, hiding his pain behind a smile.

He was relieved. 

He hoped his family and friends would understand his note. He knew it was cliche but he couldn't bring himself to leave them without some form of explanation so he'd left a note on the kitchen table. 

Chanyeol had said he would come by tomorrow. He'd probably be the one to find it. Baekhyun felt bad. He didn't want it to be him but there was nothing he could say to him without Chanyeol figuring out something was wrong.

He started to feel woozy, blinking as the room started to wobble. He was ready. He let himself fall into it, slumping back against the tub as his eyes started to close.

A sound. The front door opening, Baekhyun realized. He frowned, eyes twitching open. Nobody was supposed to be here. He planned it so he would be alone.

"Baekhyun, you awake? Work was dead so I left early."

No, no, no. Chanyeol wasn't supposed to be here yet. He wasn't ready for this. He struggled against the haze, trying to sit up. His hand slipped in the puddle of blood and he fell over, face against the tile.

"Baekhyun? Baekhyun!?" He must have found the note. The sound of heavy footsteps down the hall. He tried to call out, to say sorry, but he was too weak to speak. 

"Baekhyun? Where are you? Answer me, please!" Chanyeol was pounding on the bathroom door, trying to open it but Baekhyun had locked it.

"Baekhyun please, whatever you're doing stop." The door shook as Chanyeol tried to bust it down. 

Baekhyun didn't have the strength to do anything. His vision was getting dark as he began to pass out.

The door burst open, hanging half off the hinges. Chanyeol stood there, eyes wide as he looked down at Baekhyun.

"Baekhyun! No, no! Please, no Baekhyun!" He fell to his knees, pulling Baekhyun to him. He held him tight in his arms, tears falling down his face as he tried to stop the bleeding.

Baekhyun was limp in his arms, eyes fluttering shut. He couldn't fight it anymore. There was no more time.

"Baekhyun please stay awake! Don't do this to me! Don't go," he cried out, holding Baekhyun's head to his chest. 

His arms felt good around Beakhyun. It was comforting, like Chanyeol had always been.

"Sorry," he mumbled as the dark overtook him. 

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a break from my other fanfic so I did this.  
> I'm sorry it's so sad and also kind of sloppy but I needed to work out writers block.  
> Also I guess I was just in a depressing mood tonight.


End file.
